mislim o slobodi
udaljavam joj se i približavam nitko nije tako vjeran
voajer kao ja
ulazim u kafanske tuče i lomim kosti za nju
naručujem joj najskuplju muziku
skadarlija bi se posramila koliko šuškam i prije prvog tona
avansno i bez straha od budućnosti
ne punim ja samo harmonike punim ja i raštimane violine
kraljevstvo čitavo za tri minute užitka kažem si da smo ljubavnici
opojnost slobode i unutrašnje ja u najboljoj namjeri
lažem je muklo joj lažem govorim joj kako je poznajem kao čovjek
čovjeka onako
u dušu

znam gdje ti je koji madež
znam odakle ožiljak na potkoljenici znam gdje te je prvi puta
u sebe uzeo a gdje ostavio znam što je
za sobom ostavio
ti sada zibaš samo ljude na odlascima milo i malo
bez dječjeg plača
drugi ti se moraju sami odazvati znam
o čemu sanjaš kažem joj dijelim
tvoj jauk od ushita dijelim tvoj ah od oh
najbolja sam ti prijateljica
znam pogled tvog oca na samrti kažem joj
i znam da ga se ti ne možeš sjetiti
otac od slobode bio je zatvor
znam da ti ne voliš stajanja u mjestu od toga ti se suši kralježnica
i znam da i ti za sebe misliš da nisi stajaćica
iako svi ponekad
jesmo

miluje me koliko si bahata dok hodaš
nosiš svu moju zemlju u svojoj kosi dok ja vrištim
put nije sloboda sloboda je
put

mislim o slobodi
pozivam u nju i druge ljude osoran je zen
osoran je moral osorna je laž
osorna sam ponekad i ja
želeći te za sebe uzimajući te naivno od svijeta
ukapljujem te kao vodu iako si izvor
i ne manjkaš

nikada nisi moja negacija uvijek si više ja
od mene
i ako si dopustim da smo jedno
tad te imam i kad sam samoća imam te i kad sam ponor imam te i kad sam
kraj

mislim o slobodi o njoj znam da žena jest
da grad jest
ali pitam je slobodo jesi li stvarno
slobodna?

odgovaraš
ako me pozoveš u svoje zube utrobu i pluća
ako me osjetiš ali i svugdje pustiš ako me ne čekaš ni ne tražiš
ako tek sa mnom duboko dišeš tada sasvim sigurno
jesam

I THINK OF FREEDOM

i think of freedom
i move away then draw near again no one is as faithful
a voyeur as i am
i walk into tavern brawls and break bones for her
i order her the most expensive music
skadarlija would be ashamed how loudly i rustle before the first note
in advance and unafraid of the future
i do not fill only accordions i also fill out of tune violins
a whole kingdom for three minutes of pleasure i tell myself that we are lovers
the intoxication of freedom and the inner self in best intent
i lie to her mutely i lie tell her that i know her as a human
knows another down
to the soul

i know where each of your moles lies
i know the story of the scar on your shin i know where someone first
took you in and where they left you i know what
they left behind
now you only rock people who are leaving gently slightly
without a child’s cry
others must call to you on their own i know
what you dream of i tell her i tell apart
your moan from your ecstasy your ah from oh
i am your best friend
i know the look in your fathers eyes on his deathbed i tell her
and i know you cannot remember it
the father of freedom was prison
i know you do not like standing still it dries out your spine
and i know you too think of yourself as not a stander
though we all sometimes
are

you caress me with how fierce you are when you walk
you carry all my earth in your hair while i scream
the road is not freedom freedom is
the road

i think of freedom
i invite others into her harsh is zen
harsh is morality harsh is the lie
harsh am i too sometimes
wanting you for myself taking you naively from the world
i liquefy you like water though you are the source
and you do not run dry

you are never my negation you are always more me
than i am
and if i allow myself to be one
then i have you when i am solitude i have you when i am the abyss i have you when i am
the end

i think of freedom of her i know that woman is
that city is
but i ask her freedom are you truly
free?

you answer
if you invite me into your teeth your womb your lungs
if you feel me but let me go everywhere if you neither wait for me nor seek me
if you only breathe deeply with me then surely
i am

(Translated by Marija Dragnić)